Why You Struggle to Reach Your Goals
We don’t reach our goals because sometimes the goals we set are not important to us. We think we want to do something for some external factor, but the reasons don’t tap into our core values. I spoke of this in last week’s message.
But in my article entitled Is a Lack of Motivation Derailing your Dreams? I shared with you how to avoid or navigate this pitfall when it comes to having the success you want in life by leveraging How #2 to have Copious Success: Set a Meaningful Goal.
And sometimes, the reason we don’t reach our goals is that we don’t believe in ourselves. We don’t have the confidence that we have the skills or can develop them to achieve what we desire. This lack of confidence kills many dreams, keeps people stuck, and leaves them feeling regret for what they wish they had done or even attempted to do.
I’ve shared with you How #1 to have Copious Success: Build Self-confidence in “Want More Wins in Your Life? Start here.” While it might take a little time to develop this muscle, you can do it.
However, even when we’ve set a meaningful goal and we’ve built our self-confidence, our dreams can remain out of reach. Why is that?
I had the dream to move to France back in 2014. I’d never even been there, but something about the country, the culture, and the language spoke to me. So in 2015, I visited for the first time, and I wasn’t disappointed. I saw myself living in this beautiful country. I wasn’t quite sure what city or village, but I knew France was the country for me.
I thought about a life in France from 2014 to 2017 without making actual plans to make my move and without taking steps beyond visits to France. I had this dream, and I was in love with the idea of it, but I was afraid that I couldn’t live my dream. I’d heard of other people who’d made a move abroad, but they were distinctly different from me, or so I thought.
They were younger, often recent college grads, who took a gap year to live in a foreign country. OR if they were slightly older, they were experienced travelers who knew their way around the globe. OR they were extraverts who never met a stranger. OR they had an innate aptitude for languages. OR they were independently wealthy.
I thought that their unique character traits, things I did not embody, were what allowed them to make an international move successfully, happily. And because of this viewpoint, I did little except dreaming about living in France.
But now, only a few years later, I’m living in the South of France and loving the life I’m creating for myself. How was this possible? What changed that allows me to live my dream?
I stopped believing that while moving abroad is possible, it was only possible for a certain other kind of person (the type of person who wasn’t me) to live in a foreign country. In essence, I shifted my perspective on the matter.
I looked into how true my thoughts about people who move abroad were.
- Was it true that only 22-year-old college graduates move abroad? I soon saw examples on the internet of older people who had made a leap like the one I wanted to make. I read about people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and even 60s who’d done it.
- Was it true that only people who could pick up languages easily moved to a country that spoke a language different from their native tongue? I saw examples of people who had moved knowing little of their new country’s language and managed, learning as they were there. Some even managed to live there with very few foreign language skills.
- Was it true you had to be rich to move to a foreign country? In my research, I saw this wasn’t true either. While some people who moved to foreign countries could support themselves financially without worrying about money, many others weren’t and found ways to provide for themselves and thrive in their new countries.
One by one, the bricks in my wall of disbelief came toppling down, and I began to believe that not only is moving abroad possible for other people, but it was possible for me too. This realization got me into action, planning, and preparing for my life in France. And now, here I am.
So How #3 to have copious success is Shifting Your Perspective. Shifting Your perspective is a matter of questioning your beliefs and turning them upside down. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
If you have a dream in your heart but find yourself saying “only people who x do y” or “that’s impossible” or “I can’t do that,” adopt the adage “Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained,” and ask yourself the following questions.
- How true is that? And look for proof to the contrary and write it down.
- Where did that idea come from? Sometimes the beliefs we have were given to us by family members or friends whose experiences are different from ours or who got them from their parents. Just because someone else has a belief doesn’t mean it’s true or true for you.
- If I wasn’t afraid of what I would find out about what I believe is impossible or possible, how could I challenge my thoughts on the matter?
- If I believed the 180° opposite idea, what would I be telling myself, and what actions would I be taking?
These questions are how you begin to shift your perspective and start to think outside the box. Ask yourself these questions whenever you feel defeated or like what you desire is out of reach for you. These questions will get you thinking and doing things differently.
Applying this “Catalyst for Cultivating Courage,” Shifting Your Perspective along with the other two, Setting a Meaningful Goal and Building Self-confidence, will lead you to experience a more satisfying life.
Set a Meaningful Goal, Build Self-confidence, and Shift Your Perspective so that you create the success and life you want for yourself. You deserve it!