It’s not Possible…
Or is it?
Do you remember that “in love” feeling where your future felt bright and limitless, where you were open and receptive, curious and giving, and eager to see how each new day would unfold?
These sentiments are the ones young children often experience before becoming disillusioned by their parents, teachers, friends, and environments. It’s challenging to get back there to this place of sheer unquestioning hope and faith for life and the future; however, it’s easier for me to tap into these emotions ever since I found my happy place here in the South of France.
Certainly, at times, conditions can be challenging for me here because starting life over is not easy. Had I framed my move abroad in this way before I made my leap, I probably would still be in the United States. But in looking back, that’s exactly what I did. I started my life over. Yet, this move to a place that makes me feel good simply by being here has set the stage for me to live out a second childhood.
Unlearning long-held beliefs takes discipline, repetition, and time just as learning new ones does. I have embarked on this unlearning, and have been doing so in earnest for six months. It has been a process of retraining myself to become aware of errant thoughts that cross my mind, tempting it to latch on to them and make them my truth. But once aware, I can choose to accept the thoughts and entertain them or let them go like a passing cloud. My intention is to accept only those thoughts that take me to a place of joy, similar to that place of childlike wonder, and reject those thoughts that lead me to feelings of lack, hopelessness, and fear. Sometimes I’m successful and sometimes I’m not. This is a work in progress and I feel lighter because of it.
In some ways, I think it odd that I chose France to reprogram my mind to be more positive. During my first six months here the phrase I heard most frequently and which stood out to me was “C’est pas possible.” (It’s not possible). This statement is spoken habitually by native French people who understand, all too well, the obstacles of navigating French bureaucracy and who, as a result, may no longer see ways around obstacles that present themselves, even in their personal lives. C’est pas possible is also an expression of surprise. It’s kind of like saying: “How can that be?” At any rate, hearing this negative affirmation daily, sometimes multiple times during the day caused me to notice it and make me think that perhaps I was in the wrong place.
After all, I was doing the impossible.
I had quit my job, moved to France where I knew virtually no one, and was building a new life for myself.
So why had I chosen France? Why did I come someplace that would help reinforce the limiting beliefs I was and still am in the process of shedding?
The answer is, I don’t know.
Perhaps the Universe needs me to see this stark contrast as I challenge the negative thoughts that arise and taunt me to play with them and remain stuck in lack and limitation so that as I change, becoming more childlike in sentiment, my transformation will be durable and will allow me to live out my second childhood in a physical place of beauty (France) and a spiritual place of limitlessness, joy, and love.
Or maybe it’s not about me.
Maybe I’m here, as a friend suggested, to help shine a light on what is possible.