How to Stay Above the Fray of Attachment to Social Media “Likes”

Being an entrepreneur has its benefits, but it can be lonely.

It’s times when I’m producing and putting myself out there, outside my comfort zone, in order to market my products and services and I’m not seeing immediate results that I have to remember that people are always watching and taking in what is relevant to them, even if they don’t say a word. But beyond that understanding, what matters, even more, is the work I’m doing, the content I’m putting out there to help people improve the quality of their lives. Being noticed or acknowledged for what I’m doing is nice, but it is not my reason for being. It’s about them; it’s not about me.

When I was in fifth grade, I befriended the class outcast, Mindy. People picked on her and called her names. And those who didn’t stayed away from her. They did not want to be associated with her in any way. One day I saw her on the playground on the swings all alone. I went over to her and said hi. Then I sat on the swing next to her and began to working my legs back and forth to swing as high as she was going. We became fast friends and played together at recess for the rest of the school year.

Several weeks later, my mom came home from her parent-teacher conference with my fifth-grade teacher, Mrs. Raskin, and gave me a great big hug. Then she held me away from her at arms distance and admired me as if she hadn’t seen me in years. I wasn’t sure what I’d done, why she was so happy to see me.

“I’m so proud of you.” She exalted.

Puzzled, I responded, “Why? What did I do?”

“You are friends with Mindy. You know, the girl everyone picks on?”

I was still confused. “Yeah, I like Mandy. She’s neat.” I shrugged.

It turns out that Mrs. Raskin had been watching and thought that my action, becoming Mindy’s friend, was remarkable because, in doing so, I risked becoming a target of bullying myself.

What I had done wasn’t remarkable in my eyes, but it was in my mom’s and Mrs. Raskin’s. Had my mom not had that conference, I might never have gotten that feedback that I remember to this day. It still feels like a welcome acknowledgment that I was on the right path, though I didn’t need it, and it wasn’t the reason I became friends with Mindy.

People are always watching, even though they might not comment. They might approve or disapprove of your actions. And you might never know. So that your efforts and emotions aren’t tied to how others respond, it is essential to listen to your values and stay true to them. When you do, you can always look to yourself and approve of and validate yourself. You can detach from the opinions of others.

There is a particular strength that comes with this.

Sometimes I forget this. In a world with social media and the necessity of marketing myself and my business, it is easy to get pulled into the “likes,” the number of downloads, and the number of followers you have. When I feel my constitution weaken, and a need for outer acceptance start to surface, I remember that I have the power to validate myself by looking to my purpose and values and remembering how my actions align with them.

Recalling this Mindy incident and how sincerely clueless I was that I was taking the high road, helps me remember my aim in my business — to help as many people as possible move through their fears so that they can experience that which holds the most meaning to them in life.

When I remember this, I get out of my own way and can shine more brightly as I do the work I was called to do.

If you want to be validated, validate yourself!