Do You Suffer From Impostor Syndrome?
How can you prove to yourself that you are what you have become?
Becoming who we aspire to be depends inevitably on how we truly see ourselves. If we want to become something different, we have to see ourselves as the thing we want to become, first.
For example, if we want to become an architect or if we want to be someone with high integrity who honors their word, we must picture ourselves achieving this goal. Visualization is the first step in changing. We get an idea and see ourselves reaching it. Then we decide to go for it and set the goal firmly in our minds. Finally, we write out a plan and begin taking steps to achieve our goal. This is the process.
If we follow this formula, we can reach our goal and become someone who has earned a degree in architecture or who acts with integrity or whatever our aim was. This is wonderful, but does reaching our goal truly make us what we had aspired to be? Does having a credential or consistently exhibiting habits of the kind of person we set out to be automatically set us up for success, emotionally or financially, in our chosen field or endeavor?
Are credentials enough?
The answer is no. Doing the work and earning a credential or changing your habits is only part of the process. If you want to show up and perform to the best of your ability in that chosen area, and feel truly happy in doing it, you need one thing more. Belief.
Recently an acquaintance asked me, “Oh, so you’re a writer. Is living in France more conducive for your writing?” I recoiled a little at his statement, “You’re a writer.” I felt a little bit inauthentic in responding because a part of me didn’t honestly believe that I am a writer. I enjoy writing and think it’s a noble calling. I’ve published two books and write articles regularly; despite this, there is a place inside of me that questions the truth of my being a writer.
As I write and publish daily, I prove to myself I can come up with ideas and put them into words effectively. The more people who are exposed to my writing and provide feedback, the more my identity as a writer grows. And I find myself saying, “Yes, Patricia, you are a writer.” My actions, the comments I receive, and my self-talk help make my identity as a writer more real to me. And when I sit down to write each subsequent piece, I feel less constricted in the undertaking, more confident, and more authentic. I feel at ease, and my writing seems to flow. These affirmations help me own the title of writer more completely.
Impostor Syndrome
When someone doesn’t feel they measure up to their role or title, they can feel like a fraud and fear being exposed as such. Impostor Syndrome is the psychological term given to this phenomenon. People who struggle with this syndrome believe their accomplishments are a result of luck and not of their ability and hard work. They might even think that they have tricked others into believing they are something they feel they are not. Thoughts of self-doubt, low self-esteem, and lack of self-confidence accompany Impostor Syndrome. Anxiety, stress, and depression can also be present when people doubt themselves and their authenticity.
The thing is that people who have accomplished big things and who are making names for themselves might not firmly believe they are who they are being to the world. Recently I interviewed Professional Event Emcee, Devon Brown, for the Discovering Courage podcast. I’d seen him emcee two events in February and he had both audiences enthralled. His bio, which describes him as “what would happen if you combined MC Hammer with Tony Robbins”, is accurate.
I was excited and honored to have him as a guest. His insights were riveting. One question I asked was how he worked through the uncertainty that he could emcee in his very distinct manner to get to where he is today. He replied, “I’ don’t know that I worked through it as much as the cognitive dissonance stopped.”
We Can’t Always See In Ourselves What Others See In Us
He went on to explain what he meant by giving the following example. If we don’t believe that we are attractive, but 100 random people tell us that we are, then we start to believe that we are attractive. Then, he said, “The way I worked through it [the uncertainty] was by actually doing the thing. Then I actually wound up getting a lot of validation. It wasn’t until the past year or so I started calling myself a professional event emcee even though I had done more emcee work than most people in our industry, even though I was getting called and paid and flown around to do emcee work. ”
In believing the words of affirmation he receives, Devon has fully stepped into his power. He feels more confident about his work and knows that his style of emceeing is valid and effective. In this way, his identity as a Professional Event Emcee strengthens, and his audiences benefit. Click here to listen to the full interview.
Believe in Yourself
The ability to see ourselves as who we’ve aspired to be and worked hard to become (and often how others already see us) is a process. We can experience the cognitive dissonance of which Devon spoke; however, we can firmly establish a belief in ourselves and our new identities with positive self-talk and by internalizing the positive feedback of others. We can chip away at the negative and disempowering thoughts and emotions we feel as we set out to and become someone new.
